DISCOVERY

For a few days now, i have been reading Lolita unlike any other book i have ever read. people have gotten up and talked in class about their discoveries and listening has made me feel like i either have let a lot of the story go right over my head, or... that i am somehow just not picking up on this little hints. After hearing some very interresting and great discoveries its even harder for me to read parts of the book because i know i have to find a discovery. i had thought that maybe my "L's" on the page would be a good one, but then Sexson had mentioned it in class so im guessing i wasnt crazy seeing all those "L" words all over the pages. So im still trying to find my discovery. i feel as if right now, i am jsut looking, too hard at words and passages.

What makes a great teacher

"A great Teacher is a wonderful story teller, therefore an Enchanter"
In class the topic of what an artist must have to be "good" came up. Sexson explained that Nabokov believed that an artist must be a good story teller, an enchanter, and a teacher. the most important of the three is enchanter. I then started to think about what my favorite teachers have done to keep my interest or keep me excited about a class. and then it hit me, they have all been enchanters. not only good story tellers, since all my favorite teachers have been English teachers, but they have all been really really good at story telling, which makes them enchanting to the students.
Nabokov is a complete enchanter. with his words he writes in Lolita, i get completely enthralled into the story once i sit down and read. in fact the other day i was in the library and totally read through one of my classes! i was enchanted not only by the story but the words that Nabokov uses. and not only the use of the words, but once i really start reading Lolita i get lost in what is all going on. I start to feel like i am in the story, and Humbert at times. and what is really weird is to start sympothizing with Humbert. once i do start to see things in Humberts twisted mind it throws me off. i always quit reading and then have to go right back to where i stopped, or even a little further! I also start to feel like i am imaging things while reading. For instance when he writes about Lolita there are "L's" all over the page. and i know its not just me, because i finally took my highlighter and highlighted all the L's and words with L's and find that yes, Nabokov has put these letters and words all over the pages that are centered around Lolita. or to better describe, pages where Lolita is discribed.
Nabokov has enchanted me with heis words, and his story and i cant wait to start reading another Nabokov book to see if he has that same ability.

Why Humbert?

In class we have talked about why, why the main character in Lolita is a pedophile. Amanda has written a blog on this question and seems to be very perturbed as to why , Nabokov would want to write about this subject. For me i think that the idea of being so greatly ill with something like pedophilia , would be interesting for Nabokov to investigate. After all the discoveries Sexson has showed us already in class, it is pretty obvious that, Nabokov liked to learn, discover, understand all types of things in life. Even though the subject matter is disturbing and quite confusing for a man who isnt a pediphile to be writing, the book isnt as disturbing as i thought it may have been.

For years i have wondered about Lolita. wondered if i would enjoy reading it. and the wonder simply comes from the fact that it has been talked about, written about, praised, fought etc. over and over again. now that i have finally delve into the book full force to explore the story, i can understand why it has been talked about, written about, praised and fought. there are so many disturbing passages written when Humbert is speaking of Lolita. and i really wonder why? how would a man who wasnt a pedophile write such a confinsing story. and why would he want to. the only answer i have to why he would want to is to out himself in the position of a pedophile to learn more about that type of person. Or maybe he just simply wanted to confuse readers. get them all worked up about a certain subject. he had to have known that what he was writing was going to be fought. that Lolita was going to be seen as not a piece of literature but in some eyes, a disgusting story.

I wish that i could really find out why, but even when looking up information on Nabokov and his writings and interviews he did about this novel almost confuse me more. he doesnt seem to want anyone to know why he wrote the story. maybe it was just for him. a story that tormented, excited, compelled, him to keep going.

Annotation Of Page 75

Four of the annotations made by Appel, on page 75, made me think of a few themes that are throughout the entire book of Lolita. The first annotation he makes is when Charlotte is talking to Humbert and the word "Turk" gets mentioned. Here she is not sure of what race Humbert is , and through out the story, there is speculation on what race Humbert Humbert actually is. Jean Farlow makes specualtions on his race and the manager at The Enchanted Hunters also wonders what race HUmbert HUmbert is.

The second annotation is the word "contretemps" the dictionary definition is: an embarrassing minor disagreement, but Appel defines it as an embarrassing or awkward occurance. when i first read through the passage i looked up the word on the internet because i was confused as to what it meant and it didnt really fit, but then reading the annotation it fit for my understanding better. throughout the entire book i had awkard moments while reading the text because of the subject matter. so much of what humbert writes about is disturbing and awkward in itself, it is hard not to feel awkward while reading.

the third annotation is rattles, i find it interresting that Humbert is speaking of himself in terms of a rattle snake, because fromt he very beginning of the novel i felt he was a snake in the grass... a predator and someone or something that one would want to stay away from.

The fourth annotation is the word rubrique. I dont have this in my notes but im almost possitive that in class we have talked about newspapers and lolita a few times, and also spoke about how Nabokov disliked newspapers so much. and i start to wonder why? why if Nabokov has such a dislike for newspapers would he write so much about them in Lolita, and let alone that but he puts the word in italic letters as to play with the reader. at least when i read and see a word in italics it always peaks my interest and i either look the word up or pay even more close attention to that word and words alike.

All these annotations that Appel gives to the reader are interesting to me, while reading through the story all these things were something that i have picked up on and thought about myself. so to find four points on one page that i have sat and thought about really intrigued me.

My own Butterfly experiences

In class today, Sexson read a passage from Speak Memory, and it got me thinking about my past experiences with Butterflies. As a small creature, if thats what you call a butterfly, i have never really thought much about them since i was very little. My first memory of butterflies, is one that makes me laugh a little now. I hadnt thought of it in so long, i guess because i dont see butterflies that often, and really i cant remember the last time i actually saw one. But, back to my memory, i had to of been about 3 and i was in a daycare program in Helena. I remember always painting and drawing and dancing, so i am guessing it was a kind of art program. One day, and i remember it as if it was yesterday, i painted a butterfly. when my grandmother came to pick me up that day, i showed her and i was extremely proud of my painting. when she took the painting from me i remember her just staring at it and then telling me it was beautiful. to this day, she still has it framed in her house.
My next vivid memory of a butterfly, is one that ironically enough is also with my grandmother. i remember sitting in the big white kitchen she had, at an old and quite enormous butcher block, right in the center of the room. i was coloring and as she asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up i said to her, a butterfly.

My small discoveries of Nabokov

I love pictures new and old, so i tried to find some interresting ones of our author:































I love the picture where Nabokov is turning around and looking at the camera, i thought that was really cool.

*The picture where he is walking was taken in 1965 with his Wife.

Sexson had mentioned this in class but i still find it so impressive that two of Nabokov's texts are on the list of The Modern Library 100 Best Novels, with Lolita at #4 and Speak Memory at #8. To have two novels on a list like that just blows my mind. The novel Lolita was banned in France and censored in the USA till 1958. Since it was published in 55 i suppose the fact that it got uncensored in such a short amount of time is pretty impressive.

Quotes from Nabokov:
*A masterpiece of fiction is an original world and as such is not likely to fit the world of the reader.

*Discussion in class, which means letting twenty young blockheads and two cocky neurotics discuss something that neither their teacher nor they know.

*Existence is a series of footnotes to a vast, obscure, unfinished masterpiece.

*I have often noticed that after I had bestowed on the characters of my novels some treasured item of my past, it would pine away in the artificial world where I had so abruptly placed it.

This particular picture i chose was my second year at MSU. It was Halloween, and was the first Halloween since i was around six or so that i really cared what i was dressing up as. I had planned my costume for two months, and had ordered my Marilyn Monroe costume at a store in Billings. I am with two of my roommates at the time, one of which i lived with for a total of five years. Mandy, the one dressed like Daisy Duke was my roommate that MSU paired me up with, and like i said lived with her for four more years after our first year in the dorms. When i found this picture at the end of my pictures on Facebook, i started to remember the excitement we all had that night. All of my roommates and I had planned our costumes, and had worked so hard to get them just right! It was as if it was a contest, but for us it was that one night to dress up and be a little crazy. Ever since this Halloween i have been excited to dress up, and have a costume weeks in advance and know exactly what i am going to be. when i look closer at the costumes i remember Maddie's, we had glued on all of the little leaves to her top that had taken her weeks to find. and also had had to sew on all the leaves to her wings.
The house that we are at is the very first house that we had rented after being in the dorms. When we all moved into that four bedroom, one bath , place, I dont think we were anything but ecstatic to have our own place, to be able to do what we please. The picture in the very background, that is dark and can barley be seen, is a picture that has hung in all my immediate family's homes at some point. it is a poster from the boston marathon in 1984 i believe, so two years before i was born, but my mom and grandfather had run in it that year, and my grandpa had framed it. Ever since i was little i have loved that poster, not even knowing the significance of it, but the colors and print i have always loved.

First Blog of the semester!

Sexson said in class, that he wanted a blog on our first memory. It took me only a few minutes to clear my mind, and really think back to my earliest memory. Im probably 3 years old maybe younger, running down the hallway to my grandparents bedroom, because at that time my mother and I lived with them. And i still to this day remember running to their room when i got scared, had a bead dream or jsut couldnt sleep. When i think about it a little bit more i realize that still to this day, they are the ones I run to when I need comfort, help, understanding, affection etc. Its ironic to me that my earliest memory is of me running to them in a time of some sort of need, and that they are still here for me today to run to them with whatever I need.

Other than that, I am very excited to start this class! I havnet started reading Speak, Memory, since that is going to be my weekend fun, but i have looked through it a bit and I think it will be a very interresting read!